A little
break from mani’s right now. I thought I’d write about one of my more “amusing”
gigs playing bass. Well..it wasn’t at the time..and no, I didn’t get beat up by
some rogue athlete.
In 1998, I
was living in Houston , Texas ,
basically doing what one does in Houston ,
sleep, work, eat out and shop. I swear, coming from Houston ,
to Florida ..the
food quality dropped DRAMATICALLY!...However, I’m writing about music today.
So, through
my Texas pickin’ guitar picking buddy Brennan
Nase, I got hooked up through the local Houston
music scene/network and occasionally got the stray gig, here and there. Since I
wasn’t a member of the Music Union, nor made music my primary living (thank
God) income, I didn’t pimp to hard to get gigs, and when I was asked, I could
be picky. Whatever cash I made, was gravy.
So, I got a
call from the music director for Julio Iglesias Sr. to play a one night concert
gig at the (then) Houston Summit arena. I was contracted to play cello in a 42 piece
orchestra for 325.00. I showed up to one of 2 scheduled rehearsals
and saw why I was called up. The other musicians were all Hispanic. I’m like
oh..well…now I know why whenever I would get off a plane and walk through one
of two Houston
airports..the first question I would be asked would be “do you speak Spanish?”…”NO”!
But..I got used to it but no, never learned to speak the language. Oh..back to
why I was called up for this gig? Because I LOOKED Hispanic, or rather…in Texas , I was another person of color more than likely to BE
Hispanic. I guess the Hawaiian part was enough to throw me out of the ASIAN
category and throw me into the HISPANIC stereotype, at least until I opened my
mouth.
So, I show up
to the rehearsal with a cello in hand (had to borrow it as my cello is home in
Utah…unless Ryun has stolen that too and carted it off to Ohio..like my other
instruments he could steal) but when I sat down, the conductor asked me if it
was true I played the bass guitar. Of course I do..he then offered me 450.00 if
I would play bass guitar in the main band, behind Julio Iglesias. Ok,..more
money, but those of you who know me, know I HATE being onstage, and
worse..being front center. I declined, but then he offered me 650.00. 650.00
bought A LOT of sterling silver jewelry in Houston in those days, so I thought, what the
hell. Its not like anyone I know will SEE me. So I had them go out (since I had
brought only a cello) and rent me a Fender Fretless Jazz Bass (since MY vintage
Fender Jazz Bass is safely hidden from my thieving brother with someone in Utah ) for the next 2 days. Hey, I was already stuck
with a borrowed cello!
I finished
the rehearsal and the dress rehearsal with no problems. The music was easy to
read, standing right in front of me, and pretty straight forward. I didn’t really
speak to any of the other musicians around me, as one of my personal idiosyncrasies
is to not speak to people I didn’t know, as I’m not the most OUTGOING person
when meeting new people.
The backup
band and orchestra were ok..again, the music was easy..so I went home confident
in the fact I’d have 650.00 in 24 hours, and I went and bought some sterling
silver jewelry for myself on QVC.
I showed up
for the concert, tuned up and sat with the other men in the backup band/rhythm
section. There was a keyboard player, 2 guitarists, a drummer and an auxiliary
percussionist besides me. I remember briefly silently acknowledging the rest of
the rhythm section. We were set quite away from the orchestra, but I was
already thinking ahead of more things I could buy on QVC.
Lights up! Concert ON !
Julio Iglesias came out and was speaking to the crowd in Spanish, which wasn’t
a problem, because I had the music in front of me. As he was chattering away,
all of a sudden, all the musicians started rearranging their music! Crap! He
was changing the order of the music and I couldn’t understand a word he was
saying, nor was I familiar with any of his “hits”. I turned to the drummer and
asked him what the changes were. He looked back at me blankly and I’m like
oh..yeah..well..its a drummer..I grew up with one in the house..and they ARE
rather dimwitted beings..so I turned to one of the guitarists, without looking panicked.
which I was getting there. I asked the guitarist what was the order of the
music change and he looked at me as said “Que?” FULL BLOWN ANXIETY ATTACK!! NO
ONE in the rhythm section around me spoke ENGLISH! And of course, I didn’t
speak Spanish. Sooo…what was supposed to be an “easy” 650.00, turned into a
MAJOR PSYCHIATRIC EVENT for me!
Oh..I made
it through the concert, but it wasn’t without my typical “Maile performance
anxiety drama” that I had tried to avoid. The worse part was trying to surreptitiously
leaf through the music trying to find the right song in the music score, while
everyone else was playing, while I was using my ear to listen to the music
being played around me and my left hand to play the bass while I was leafing
through the score with my right hand. I guess no one noticed, because I was
paid 650.00 and asked to play the next gig, in AUSTIN ! HELL NO!
That’s all
for today!
Bye!
My
HOLY CRAP MAILE!!! I would have totally completely lost it! You rule!
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